defining moments – ROC Recovery Center

July 22 2023

The Gift of Making Amends

Doug Gould Personal Development, Spirtual, Uncategorized amends, defining moments, fear, Having faith in difficult times, our walk with Christ, surrender, trust in the Lord

It was years ago when I heard this comment from a Pastor friend of mine. He said, “There will come a time in life when you will be faced with a decision; that decision will define you.”

During a recent bible study, I began thinking of that thought when I stumbled upon another two additional quotes regarding defining moments:

“When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment will define you.”

“It has been well said that a crisis never made any man; it only reveals what he already is.”

That statement, in my opinion, is true if we allow it to be. It is my understanding of God’s Word, that although God allows man “free will” it is the free will of the other peoples’ behaviors that can annoy us.

In the movie, It’s A Wonderful Life, Clarence, the angel, says to George Bailey when he wishes that he had never been born and finds out that his own actions really did make an impact on others, “Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

Before the crisis a man will look at life one way; however, afterwards-and possibly forever-he will begin to see the whole world around him in a different way.

Some of you may be there right now. It may be a health problem, and unless God intervenes, there’s no hope. Perhaps, it’s a serious marital or family problem, a financial problem or a desperate need for work. It may be a personal problem, such as loneliness, guilt, anger, bitterness, or anxiety. It could be some life-dominating sin, such as alcohol, drugs, pornography, or gambling. But whatever the crisis may be, how is it defining you?

Now to fully understand this passage of scripture and how this relates to our walk with Christ today, let us examine this defining moment more closely for in the Book of Genesis we read:

Genesis 32:3-6 “Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes. 6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.”

It was Jacob that cheated Esau out of his birthright over a bowl of stew. This family puts the funk in dysfunctional. He then proceeded to impersonate his brother, Esau, and trick his father, Isaac, on his deathbed, who was old and unable to see.

Yet, 20 years later, Jacob was met with a defining moment. Jacob heard that his brother, Esau, was traveling to meet with him. So, Jacob, not knowing the intention behind Esau’s visit, sent messengers to meet him, for he was unaware if Esau was coming as a brother or an enemy.

Upon his meeting, Jacob’s moment was that of reconciliation. How do we know this? He begins by showing and expressing humility when he says to his brother “your servant Jacob.” He then proceeds not to brag about what he had gained in his life but to offer his amends through his own material gain.

The Gift of Making Amends.

Isn’t it funny how the pains of yesterday’s past can cripple our behaviors today?

I am a firm believer that we are not defined by our past. If we continue to live our lives through our past behaviors, then we will have no JOY of the Present.

Jacob was in fear in meeting his brother, Esau, because of his past behaviors toward him but humility of making amends softened the heart of Esau.

Allow me to give you a couple of points on what fear does immediately when it hits our brain:

Fear creates a “fight or flight” reaction – immediately! This causes us to either run from facing the issues or modify our behaviors, so we don’t think about it any longer.
Fear creates distractions – Fear creates distraction, which is absolutely a scheme the enemy wants us to do in our lives. If the enemy can distract us from using the mistakes of our past then we will not spend time with God in the present. The longer we keep our mind’s eyes on the problem instead of the solution, the enemy wins! We should be reminded everyday with what we read in Proverbs.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.

So, what can we learn from this?

God must break us of our self-dependence, so that we can cling to him through our brokenness.

Brokenness and humility lead us in having a heart of surrender.

Before God can use you in this defining moment to a pathway of blessings, we must be broken – Why? Because all of us have this innate ability to put our trust and security in something that is tangible -stay with me—so what happens-Jacob sends his entire family across the river and he finds himself alone—

Before God could deliver him from the hand of his brother, he had to deliver Jacob from his own self will and self-reliance.

Many times we think the real enemy is our opposition when the real enemy is our own nature that needs to be surrendered.

So, here is our defining moment! If we come into the proper relationship with God, of clinging to Him in our brokenness, then we have power with Him.

We prevail with Him when we allow God to prevail over us.

January 20 2023

It’s a Wonderful Life!

Doug Gould Spirtual defining moments, hardship, perspective, suicide, vision

Something to think about…..

There comes a time in all our lives when we are faced with a decision that could be considered “that defining moment.”

I once heard this awesome quote, and it goes like this:

“It has been well said that a crisis never made any man; it only reveals what he already is.”

That statement, in my opinion, is true, but only if we allow it to be. I believe that there are defining moments in our lives where God will allow us to experience that test, that trial, that hardship, or that failure – not to cause us hardship, but to refocus our perspective on how we view the way we are living our life.

Here is an example of a “defining moment” for Phillip Van Doren Stern.

(Daytona Beach News-Journal)

It came to him in a dream, a story so stirring he remembered every detail the next morning. He was shaving when he mentioned it to his wife, and through the hot steam of the bathroom sink, she told him it was wonderful.

It was about a despondent, middle-aged man who stood atop a bridge on a snowy Christmas Eve and contemplated suicide. Suddenly, his guardian angel appeared and showed him what life would be like had he never been born. The man realized how many people he helped, how much better things were because of him, and suddenly, life wasn’t so bad after all.

Philip Van Doren Stern, a renowned Civil War historian and author, began to write the outline for his story in 1938, and though it took him five years to shape it, he knew it was certain to touch people. There was only one problem: The publishers wouldn’t touch his story.

So, in 1943, he took his book and wrote it as a 4,100-word, 21-page booklet that he sent out to 200 friends for Christmas. He called his story, The Greatest Gift.

The Author, Phillip Van Doren Stern, determined in his heart that he was not going to let rejection detour him away from his desire to publish his book. So instead of giving up, he readjusted his focus.

He altered his original writing and published a 21 page booklet himself and handed them out to 200 of his friends for Christmas. What happened next was God just being God and Phillip Stern keeping the vision alive.

That booklet came to the attention of RKO Pictures Producer, David Hempstead, who purchased the motion-picture rights for $10,000 in April of 1944.

After several screenwriters worked on adaptations, RKO sold the rights to the story in 1945 to Frank Capra’s production company for the same $10,000, which he adapted into the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life.

But what made Phillip Stern keep moving forward in spite of the numerous rejections from publishers?

I believe the answer is hidden inside the movie when we hear the angel, Clarence, say to George Bailey as he realized that suicide was not the answer:

“Strange isn’t it, George, how each man’s life touches so many others, and when he isn’t around, it leaves an awful hole.”

Before the crisis, a man will look at life one way, however afterwards and possibly forever, he will begin to see the whole world around him in a different way and possibly begin to see his life is truly “wonderful.”

I believe that you have been created by God and for God. That we have been given an opportunity to serve Him and bless others.

So, I want to encourage you today to give your life to Christ and trust Him. He truly is a God that loves and desires for you to begin seeing yourself as He sees you.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

Psalm 139:13-14